The part of Christianity that I wanted to hold true to – pretty much everything that Jesus says and God’s love is a gift of grace for us is the fundamental part of Christianity. My issue isn’t with that – it is the way that I have encountered Christianity.
I raged against liturgy but that was against the very male centric liturgy, there is a whole female centred liturgy out that that I hadn’t even realised existed! There are a whole load of people who are creating this liturgy and working with it, challenging the idea that the Christian God is male.
I’ve learnt so much at Greenbelt! Not least of which is there are a lot of women’s stories hidden in the Bible and there are people out there who are dedicated to uncovering it – always remembering that translators have their own agendas.
I had always seen my practice, ALWAYS, as the Goddess and God were part of the single, all encompassing divine. That is always how my Pagan practice was and now I have decided to use God as a gender neutral term and use feminine descriptors for God a lot of the time too.
That makes me happy.
And I’ve also realised that being a Christian doesn’t have to be dull and boring and I can do my practice in the woods, create my own rituals and continue on with my much more joyful approach. Greenbelt really showed this to me.
So, where do I stand with the church now? I really don’t know. I don’t have a clear answer for that. But as soon as I posed on here that I was done with Christianity I had an unsettled feeling. So, I guess I am a reluctant, heretical Christian. In fact I am claiming Christian Druid as a title for myself. I am doing the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druid course. Again, I started it ages ago and never continued. I’ve also signed up for Druid College and I am looking forward to seeing how everything comes together.
Do I claim to have all of the answers? Hell no. Will I change the label that I claim again in the future? Quite probably, I don’t have a clear path through all of this. Labels help us to identify fellow seekers, but also creates a huge amount of division and problems.
All I know is that I have to live my life devoted to the divine, that I am always seeking the best path to serve and worship for me.