As is my want, I flip from wanting to do this to wanting to do that. What I do want at the moment, is something which as a freelancer I am greatly lacking, stability. I’ve applied for an awesome admin role at an awesome place which will allow me to do work which satisfied my need to serve, while still (hopefully) giving me the mental space to get on and do my things, while not worrying so much about money.
I love writing, I think above all else that I do, I enjoy it a great deal and I find blogging and writing articles and the like to be relatively easy, certainly compared to writing a novel, which I have shelved for the time being as it was melting my brain too much. I would love to spend my time writing, a kind of cross between Anne Lamott and Annie Dillard, but with a lot of Jen thrown in.
I’ve already started my spiritual memoirs, although I’m not happy with them at all.
Zack Hoag describes himself as a Light Writer. And I thought ! YES!! That’s it, that’s what I want to do, but with added art and music too. That’s exactly what I want to do. But that sounds very firmly back in the role of being a freelancer doesn’t it.
And again I have the difficulty of where do I do all this stuff? I want to be congruent on the internet, but I have two separate blogs and associated social media for them, although I completely neglect the social media for Liminal Luminous, and to be honest I don’t really do a huge amount of it for my Jen Farrant site either, mainly as I find social media to be an incredibly stressful place.
So I guess I continue to do the spiritual stuff here, and arts consultancy over at Jen Farrant, and hope that, eventually it will all coalense somewhere in the middle?
I think my worrying about this is essentially a sophisticated form of procrastination, I don’t think it really matters, what does matter is writing, regularly, doing all of my creative work regularly and try to let the overriding anxiety of money, what it is that I DO FOR A LIVING to just fade away and to just be me.