(not) Living with the flow
I am beginning to wonder if I purposefully put myself at cross purposes to the flow of life. It does feel like I struggle and batter away at things an awful lot.
Nimue commented on this post, that maybe i am not a mystic, but a magician,as I am someone who does.
Maybe this is another area where I have fallen in love with the idea of something, rather than the reality. Like my dreams of being a fiction writer, when actually I spend all my time playing music or writing blog posts.
Maybe if I let go of the idea of being a mystic it allows space for other things to come into my life as I am open to them, rather than being fixated on what I am not.
When I was ill I realised I wasted a lot of energy railing at my pain and exhaustion, which of course caused more of both.. when I accepted where I was, allowed myself to rest and just be in the place I felt a lot better and was then able to to start moving towards health again.
Maybe letting go of ideas is another form of decluttering, we need space to see what is there. Maybe if when I catch myself getting all fixated on specific ideas which aren’t happening I need to see if that is because I am not in the flow, tht I am working at cross purposes, if I let them go, or at least examine them closely with the aim of letting them go if they no longer suit then i will be able to live easier and maybe get closer to living a life of vocation…being truley me