Liminal Luminous

a wandering, wondering space of devotion, creativity and freedom.


  • I struggle with groups… I always have done, I think it is down to my personality type, but I am much happier on my own, generally speaking.

    I love playing in my band, and we are a community, but we have a core focus, we turn up, play songs, chat a little in the middle and go home . We all share the same ambition – to play well as a band.

    But religious groups come with far more complications than that.

    First of all there is a whacking big label which comes with attending a religious group, which comes with associated baggage.

    Then there is the creed, ethos, <insert word> which having that label means.

    I deeply struggle with this – the label, baggage and creeds. Quite often I don’t like aspects of each of one.

    But, not being part of a group means:
    Missing out on community spirit – especially belonging. For someone who likes to be solitary I still have a deep need to belong to a community. Especially that feeling of home and belonging
    Praying/meditating/group ritual all are much more powerful with a group than on your now
    Spiritual friendship
    Spiritual dedication and development

    I know that I can do those things on my  – I’ve even made a spiritual friend outside of a spiritual group – but I guess it’s like band has made me a much better flute player much quicker than I would have done on my own.

    Committing to a group means I will spiritually progress to a deeper level. Of course that whole concept needs pulling apart! But it is like choosing to focus on my flute means I am taking grade 7 in November, whereas if I were playing 6 instruments I wouldn’t make such quick progress and I wouldn’t be as good as I am now (relatively speaking).

    As usual I seem to be back to the place of seeking, searching, rather than being settled and happy. I worry that I overcomplicate things, that by not settling with a group means I am not diving deep. There are massive issues with my wanting to ‘spiritually progress’, on so many levels.


4 Comment

  1. Everything you write here says to me “Quaker”. Have you ever tried Quaker meeting? They have spiritual strength and yet greater respect for diversity and an individual’s inner light than any other religious group I know. They even understand and give latitude for the way your own spirit likes to graze in different pastures. And in the silence there is room for difference and togetherness to make their own music, find their own peace.
    This offers helpful insight:

    1. I have tried a couple of Quaker meeetings, but I miss the ritual aspect…, does that make sense?

      I’ve read a lot of Quaker books (and of course Sid’s journey) and I love all that I read. It’s also about a 45 min drive to my nearest one, which makes me hesitate, as that adds to the complication.

      But maybe it is time I try it again.

      1. Me too — I love the Quakers, but in my case missed the Bible teaching and the hymns. Perhaps participation in more than one group could be good? I had a friend who used to go to 8am very-high-church Eucharist sometimes, and Quaker meeting sometimes.

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