I recently had a job interview for the role of Marketing Director for a music charity. I didn’t get it and I didn’t have a key bit of experience, which another person did – fair enough, I am fine with that. Disappointed, but fine.
But, what the interviewer also said was that I was ‘too enthusiastic’ and two of the panel found me ‘too much’.
Wow, it is now a month later and I am still hurting about that. I’d like to remind you this was a role at a music charity, not an investment bank. And music is my passion, I credit it as being one of things which got me out of my wheelchair and fog of utter exhaustion. So yes, I am passionate about it. The company focuses on amateur music, it wasn’t the Royal Philharmonic.
I wasn’t dancing about the room, but I did tell my story.
It was very hard not to take this feedback personally. It was a personal comment.
I spent a long time thinking about how I need to tone me down (her suggestion for future interviews), that I needed to change how I am in interviews and that I am too much for some people.
After a while I thought, sod that, I am who I am. If I do try to change that passion then I will altering who I am to fit in with other people. That is a recipe for long term hurt.
Being the sort of person I am I keep replaying that comment in my head, but I am trying to let it go. One thing I am slowly learning, after many mistakes and mishaps is that actually the only way I will serve God and be happy is to be me as best I can be. This obviously wasn’t the right thing for me, and actually I have realised that I need to stay as a freelancer, not take a paid position, even if it is only part time.
Have you felt pressured to fit in with other peoples’ expectations of how you should be?