When you can’t hustle
Maybe it’s the media and the blogs that I read and podcasts I listen to, but everyone says that in order to achieve anything you have to work really hard, with lots of long hours, working before the kids get up, after they’ve gone to bed, during holidays, weekends etc. I agree with the fact you have to put the effort in to achieve anything, but surely not at the compromise of everything else.
It’s fine if you’ve got the energy. But there doesn’t seem to be much out there about how to have a good life when you don’t have all the energy in they world. That the necessary exercise leaves you needing a lot of rest, not just a 5 minute down time, or even time reading a book, but a proper rest with either just music or a well known audiobook, not a book which you haven’t read before.
I’m happy with the idea that I am not going to have a multi-6 figure income, as I heard a podcaster say they had today. She is somehow churning out several books a year, plus running a business and doing ultra long walks and and, and, and…… Now she is talking about how to stay healthy and well.
None of this applies to me. I had a session with a physiotherapist yesterday to assess how my body is doing after the complete breakdown a few years ago. He said that I’ve now got a strong body, that I am doing well and I can absolutely start personal training, upping my cardio and weights. But then he also said that I need to keep doing what I am already doing – swimming 3 times a week, yoga each morning (only 20 odd mins), plus all the walking I do – generally at least an hour a day on the swimming days and about an hour and a half on the non swimming days. The walking isn’t optional anyway – I have Buster who turns into Buster The Destroyer if I do not exercise him properly.
I was utterly elated that I’ve managed to recover my body as well as I have, it’s been a long hard graft. But I have to add in more exercise on top of that? When I am hoping that I will be able to pick up some more work soon? I’m just not sure that I will have the energy to do it. Do I have to give up the idea of getting back as fit as I was again? While I can accept that I may not run a half marathon or a triathlon again, I’m not sure I’m ready to accept the spare tyre about my middle.
And what about my creative projects? I’m writing more here, which clearly doesn’t magically happen, I’m writing short stories, working on my novel, oh and working on my grade 1 piano (the exam is at the end of March), and practicing my pieces for the flute for band and my grade 7 (exam hopefully in November).
If I want to turn this blog into an income stream, or if I want to build up my self employment business, or build my writing into an actual career I need to hustle that too. It all sounds utterly exhausting and makes me want to go to bed and have a nap.
There must be people out there living with a chronic illness, building their business to a modest income, it’s just they don’t podcast, do lots of blogging etc. The notable exception is Michael Nobbs who podcasts about having a chronic illness and still creating. Also people living modestly tend to be rather, well modest, in their work. Plus blogging and podcasting takes a huge amount of effort, which they may feel is better focused on their actual work, especially if they do have a low amount of energy.
As usual I don’t have any answers, just more questions. It is tricky living with a chronic illness and I want to find THE ANSWER, with THE FORMULA which will allow me to live my life well and fulfill my creative urges and desire for some level of success. One day I may accept that it doesn’t exist.