Interestingly I wrote this in September and it has taken me till now (December) to post it. Why? Because I went back over the arguments here again and again with myself. Repeatedly. And decided not to do any more blogging here. Then deciding that I should do. No, I should write a book. Then I realised I was shoulding all over myself and I should do what makes me happy. Blogging makes me happy. So, here I am, back again. You will hear more from me now!
Why am I writing this blog then?
I spent ages deliberating over whether to set up this blog or now. A really long time and a huge amount of my journal pages too. Going over and over why I wanted to set this blog up, would anyone actually ever care or give a damn, aside from me? Why would I set up ANOTHER website, when I already have my main creative freelancer site.
My spiritual life and trying to live a creative and good life is really important to me, writing is something that I greatly enjoy and I have been told, I’m rather good at it too. More than that, it helps me to process, sort and consolidate my thoughts, I understand myself better through writing. Great, so why not just stick to writing in my journal?
Well there is something about sharing your work, even if no-one is actually reading it, that helps polish up the words even further. Useless, rambling garbage isn’t acceptable. If I am sharing it in public I want it to be good, that’s not to say there won’t be mistakes or that is it genius level of work, but it is the best that I can do right at this moment.
There is also the never ending hope that I will, at some point, be able to serve people through my spiritual work and more personal musings on living a good life. I have been at this for over 20 years now, gulp. I hope to run workshops, courses, write books and more about developing a spiritual life. You will notice at the moment that I don’t offer anything. That’s because everything I have seen out there makes me deeply uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. And I can’t quite articulate why for the most part. Some of it is obvious, I find the work cringe worthy. This is partly because I am a deeply practical and technical person, but despite that I am still very spiritual and it is a fundamental part of my life.
I am sure that there are other people who are the same – who are spiritual, but aren’t keen on the whole inner fluffy crystal dolphin thing either. I want to help them find their way through this and develop their path.
I guess I want to be a spiritual counsellor, maybe even lead workshops on journalling, spiritual writing, music as an expression of soul. There is part of me that thinks I should train to be a yoga teacher or a One Spirit minister but I know that I am happiest when I have a lot of space in my diary and having a weekly class commitment is the exact opposite of that. Also, I’m not great with people and happiest when I’m on my own, so that all clashes too.
So, this blog is a way to sort through all of those things, those thoughts and the process too. I hope to also share my poetry and photography to a different audience from my work site and along the way, I hope that this space will resonate with other people too.