- I struggle with groups… I always have done, I think it is down to my personality type, but I am much happier on my own, generally speaking.
I love playing in my band, and we are a community, but we have a core focus, we turn up, play songs, chat a little in the middle and go home . We all share the same ambition – to play well as a band.
But religious groups come with far more complications than that.
First of all there is a whacking big label which comes with attending a religious group, which comes with associated baggage.
Then there is the creed, ethos, <insert word> which having that label means.
I deeply struggle with this – the label, baggage and creeds. Quite often I don’t like aspects of each of one.
But, not being part of a group means:
Missing out on community spirit – especially belonging. For someone who likes to be solitary I still have a deep need to belong to a community. Especially that feeling of home and belonging
Praying/meditating/group ritual all are much more powerful with a group than on your now
Spiritual dedication and development
I know that I can do those things on my – I’ve even made a spiritual friend outside of a spiritual group – but I guess it’s like band has made me a much better flute player much quicker than I would have done on my own.
Committing to a group means I will spiritually progress to a deeper level. Of course that whole concept needs pulling apart! But it is like choosing to focus on my flute means I am taking grade 7 in November, whereas if I were playing 6 instruments I wouldn’t make such quick progress and I wouldn’t be as good as I am now (relatively speaking).
As usual I seem to be back to the place of seeking, searching, rather than being settled and happy. I worry that I overcomplicate things, that by not settling with a group means I am not diving deep. There are massive issues with my wanting to ‘spiritually progress’, on so many levels.