Why I’m a solitary spiritual person
I’ve tried, I really have tried to belong to a group of a religious group – a congregation, a coven, a sangha, and grove and others and none of them suit me. I suspect because at heart I am a solitary person, I need a lot of time alone.
I don’t actually interact well with people in groups or crowds and although I can easily give talks, run workshops and take part in group sessionsI can’t do networking/milling around talking situations unless I have a role to play. I hate social things.
Every time I join a new group I think YES, THIS IS IT, THIS IS WHERE I CAN BE ME. And of course none of them can bear that weight, it is all far too much for any one group to live up to.
And so, I am back to being a solitary spiritual practitioner. I think for the first time in my life I am actually happy with that. I don’t want to ascribe to a solid set of beliefs, my beliefs evolve and change as i learn more. I read from across multiple religions and incorporate their beliefs. I absolutely believe in the divine, in God even (loaded word though), I do believe in the Holy Spirit and Jesus’ message too. But also what the Buddha says and I try to follow the Tao, as much as it is ever possible to follow the Tao. I find the divine in nature more than anywhere else, and in music and the arts too.
But I am happiest when my diary is empty, when I have endless stretches of time that I can devote to the divine, have space to think and potter and bimble. Anything which takes away from this needs to be closely examined before it is let in, because I am beginning to realise that my relationship with the divine happens when I am alone…..